


Unwanted Feelings

by indiscreetlove



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings, First Time, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Regret, SO, i didn't say who betrayed who, i'm excited, my first fanfiction here that has more than one chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9999020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiscreetlove/pseuds/indiscreetlove
Summary: Feelings are, indeed, a curious thing. Sometimes we want to feel them, sometimes we do not.Jesse McCree wasn't one to fully accept feelings - well, unless in the end he would get some benefit.That's why he hated Hanzo.He made feelings that Jesse learned to forgot come back, provoked new ones, brought up the ones he didn't even know existed! It was totally unwanted, it wasn't fair! He didn't want that!But as time passes on he would slowly learn that feelings aren't that annoying, but, they become more hard to deal with. More difficult. More painful.And as it deepen more and more, there's no way to go back.But why didn't he want to?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, I really hope you like this first chapter, that's something more like a prologue.  
> I want to do this fic to explore McHanzo's relationship. I want it to be beautiful, sad and hurtful. Because I love angst.  
> And I will try to make it the most beautifully ever.  
> I hope you like the first chapter!

To love is dangerous.   
No wonder so many people run away from it. You can't blame them for running, they are scared. And how should they not be? Becoming dependable on someone and that person becoming the very air you breath. If it's not mutual, the air becomes ashes and you cannot breath anymore. Cannot move. It's painful! How can you blame yourself for running from it? To love is dangerous, to run away from it it's not your fault. But, even if you run, love comes right after you. You can't escape. And, at the end, you admit to yourself: you wanted it to chase you.   
  
What if it doesn't chase?   
  
That's why Jesse never thought of love as being necessary. It was not even a reason to fight for since it could end just as fast as it begun. He wouldn't throw away all of his chances for love, he wouldn't just do that. He wouldn't dispense, though, another body's warmth on his, the taste of someone else's lips and luxury. But he wouldn't let it deepen, he wouldn't do it to himself.   
  
And everything was just fine the way it was.   
  
The sun crawled to the sky almost lazily, shooting the warm sunlight in Gilbraltar, annoucing to everyone that was, finally, morning. Jesse was already up and, not only that, he was damn right smoking. The day's first smoke was the most delicious one. Why? Because he could just relax and look at the soundless dance the sky made as it turned from deep blue to orange, and yellow and somehow it would soon get bright blue. Ah, just the fuel he needed for today.   
  
"Already smoking, Jesse?"   
  
"Damn right I am, doctor."   
  
It was Ms. Ziegler who approached, though he wasn't surprised she was already up. She was Overwatch's doctor, of course she would be up, ready for everything that should happen. Or she just woke up to bug McCree since she always appeared - from nowhere - to tell him that 'smoking is bad for his head'. Jesse doubted strongly that she was some kind of stalker that followed him only to bug him. And that theory it's proving itself true each new day.   
  
"Smoking is bad-"   
  
"For my head. I know Ms.Ziegler. I'm well aware of that."   
  
"Then, why don't you quit?"   
  
"Because I want to die faster, miss."   
  
A long silence filled the space and Jesse looked at Angela and saw her face. She was with her eyes full of concern, as if she was scared that Jesse might thought of suicide constantly these days. But, when she saw McCree's eyes, she pouted. They were full of fun. He burst out in laughing and she crossed her arms.   
  
"I can't believe you, Jesse!"   
  
"You better believe, 'cause I am right here."   
  
She punched him lightly on the arm and stomped her way out of there. Although she stopped and turned around to shout at her companion:   
  
"Hey! There's going to have a meeting at breakfast! You need to attend."   
  
"Who is going to make breakfast?"   
  
"Me."   
  
"Oh, then I'm sure going."   
  
That was enough to make Angela smile and walk her way out there. Jesse looked towards the sky once more before he turned around and followed the doctor's path to the kitchen. When he got there he found a grunting Lúcio and a sleeping Hana. They weren't the only ones awake, he could see. Actually, all of them people who now formed Overwatch were there. Some casually talking, some not and then there were those two who were the sloth's personification. Jesse sat down between them with a loud hunk and it was enough to make Lúcio squeak and Hana jump from her position.   
  
"G'morning kids."   
  
"Jesse, I'm going to kill you."   
  
"No, you ain't."   
  
She indeed wasn't going to, but he could see in her eyes that D.Va wanted really bad. Angela smiled at that scene, as if she liked to watch that sense of family slowly returning to Overwatch. McCree had to agree that this kind of smile kinda makes her even prettier. He mimicked the smile, although with a short one of his own. In front of him, that beautifully filled mug of coffee, responsible to waken his senses once and for all. He smelled it and almost moaned. Angela surely knew how to make coffee: strong and deadly, as him. So as he was sipping at his mug, he heard the strong gorilla enter the kitchen, seeming a little bit tired even if he just woke up.   
  
"So, guys, I have some news for you." Winston did not waste his time "First of all, there's someone that you wish to see and the other, not so much. Anyways, come in."   
  
By the very same door Winston came through, a cyborg appeared. And one they did know very well.   
  
"Wow, did you guys got beaten up that hard? Should I have gotten here sooner?"   
  
That was enough. Hana was the first one to get up and ran over to the man, hugging him strongly. Lúcio went behind her, so did Lena, followed by a teary Angela. Only McCree didn't share the group hug. He was too shocked to do that. They thought he was dead, that he couldn't make it. He did disappear without noticing anyone, nor did he answer Overwatch calls. In times like these, he couldn't believe in what he saw - even if he really wanted to. What if they were using that body to, somehow, attack Overwatch? Oh, shit, what if?! So, Jesse couldn't still believe it. Genji looked at his former partner and tilted his head to the side.   
  
"Aren't you going to talk to me, Jesse?"   
  
"Ain't believing in you yet, son."   
  
Then, the man took off his mask, showing his bruised face alongside with a cheerful smile.   
  
"Better?"   
  
Jesse, then, felt at ease. A smile crept up to his face and he walked towards Genji. Ruffling his hair gently, the man said:   
  
"You said that we looked beaten up, but look at you. That ugly face of yours just got uglier!"   
  
The sound of warm laughs echoed the place, filling it with peace. It was indeed a happy moment. Happy enough for them to forget the second information. Even Winston, who knew what was about to come, forgot for this little fraction of time and just let himself at ease, smiling at the reunion. It was as if the pieces of the puzzle were finding their way again; connecting and connecting through warm and once-forgotten bonds. Genji, now masked again, ruffled Hana's hair as if she was his little sister and she pouted at that. He gave Angela a soft hug, and a strong on Lúcio. To Lena he high-fived. It was as if things had gotten back to normal. Unless it didn't.   
  
"I want to introduce someone to you, guys."   
  
It was when the bright, warm day turned into a darker, feverish day. They sure didn't want to see who just came by the door. You see, those who were there, who were now - and once was - Overwatch, loved Genji as strong as a family could. Because that was what Overwatch once was: a family. And even though Jesse wasn't too familiar with it - him being from Blackwatch - he did feel some kind of protection over them. Which is why his hand was already on Peacekeeper when that man dared to cross the line to the kitchen.   
  
It was no other than Hanzo Shimada, the very one who once tried to kill the one they held dear, denying aid to his own brother. It was entirely Hanzo's fault that now Genji was a cyborg, a weapon. It was Hanzo's fault that Genji had to become what he did not want to. The air became too dense to breath, but to McCree, it was perfect. He didn't want it to be soft on the newcomer. He was their enemy and he wasn't welcomed there.   
  
"I invited my brother in. He seeks redemption and, in my point of view, Overwatch is the best place to begin with it."   
  
But, no, no one believed in that. How could Genji be so at peace at the very side of his attempting murderer? How can he bring a enemy to Overwatch? No, Jesse didn't believe it. Jesse just couldn't accept it. So the cowboy looked over to Winston, who shared his look with a troubled one of his own that said Genji could be very persuasive. The rest of the crew didn't say a thing and silence settled itself, unwelcomed in the room, for about thirty long seconds. Until Hanzo spoke, followed by a respectful reverence:   
  
"I am sorry for the trouble. I'm at your service and guidance."   
  
And it was Angela who first spoke to him:   
  
"We just made breakfast. Do you want to eat something?"   
  
But, as much as she tried to, Angela couldn't hide the obligation in her voice. Sadly, or not, she was too polite to not offer him something. Even if she doesn't want to, even if she wants to kick him out as much as the others members wants.   
  
"No, thank you." said Hanzo, with no emotions in his deep voice. Then, he turned towards Genji "Could you please take me to my room? I'm tired, I need some rest."   
  
"Yes, of course. I'll be back in a few." and so he left alongside his brother   
  
1, 2, 3...   
  
"WHAT THE HELL WINSTON?!"   
  
As always, Hana, the most loud one would begin with the accusations. It were words after words and Winston seemed to have a headache. Or maybe he already had one, but now, D.va's high pitched screams were not doing a lot better to it. He pretended he listened, but then Lúcio begun to talk as well, and he swore in Portuguese. Hana did in Korean. Angela tried to calm things down, but, how to calm things down when yourself are trembling with rage? It became unbearable. Winston raised his voice:   
  
"Listen to me!" and got immediate attention "I share your feelings, I share your anger. But I also share your love for Genji. If he says Hanzo's trustful, then I shall believe him, and so shall you. Hanzo has important skills that may help us with our task. Don't be hostile to him, since, from today on, he'll be part of our team. Am I clear?"   
  
Indeed he was clear.   
  
Time has passed by since that, but accepting Hanzo was not easy. It was something that bothered McCree so much he didn’t even tried to hide. He wasn’t taking this, he didn’t agree on that. The others on Overwatch started to grow used to Hanzo’s presence, not accepting, but growing used to it.

But the more he watched it, the more he couldn’t stand it. He tried, he really tried to do it for Genji, but that was impossible. And if things weren’t just great, Jesse just received a calling and it had him to attend the little reunion. He went to the place, cigarette in his mouth and what he saw was just another person. Wait, wasn’t that a reunion?

What was Hanzo doing there?

Jesse instantly became unease, that shown on his very steps while he walked towards the nearest chair he could find, without looking up. Then, he shot a glance at Winston, an angry one at that, and narrowed his eyes once again.

“I called you two here because there’s a mission. A mission you both are going to need to do together.”

“Why haven’t you called Genji to go with him? They would have a better chemistry.”

“Genji is already escalated to another mission, in which he’s now preparing to go, alongside Lúcio.”

Jesse took in the most he could from his cigarette and let it go slowly. He would need at least fifteen packs for this one travel. That is, if they were succesful in the next couple of days.

“I can try and do it alone. I’m very capable of handling myself.” offered Hanzo, with the same emotionless voice everytime.

“No, Hanzo, that’s not needed. You two will need each other’s help. Now, I’m going to explain the mission. You need to secure this item here,” Winston brought up a square and it showed clearly a box. It seemed like a music box. “And bring it back to Overwatch. Easy peasy, hm?”

“If it’s so easy, then why don’t you send just one person?”

“This box contains an unknown, but important substance. I don’t know what it’s for sure, but I know our enemies are searching for them as well. Now, I don’t want to bring attention to us. It’s needed to retrieve this box in the most silent and unnoticed way.”

“Ain’t the best when it comes to hidin’, son.”

“That’s why I paired you up with Hanzo. You two may go and prepare yourselves for the mission; any doubts, I am here to answer.”

Dismissed, Hanzo got up and walked from the room, without even waiting for McCree. Well, the man didn’t want for him to wait neither, because, now, all he wanted was to talk to Winston. Athena always informed them about the missions, but, for Winston to personally inform them? What was he trying to do?

“Now, Winston, the truth.”

“Nothing comes past you, huh?”

“Not even a dust.”

Sighing, Winston begun “Genji asked for it. He knew nobody would actually want to work with Hanzo but him. He didn’t want his brother to be an outcast.”

“But he already  _ is _ , Winston.”

“I know. That’s why I have another thing in mind. I don’t trust him either, so, I want to keep an eye on him. I don’t want to risk everyone’s life. That’s why I paired you upwith him. I believe you can stop him if he ever dares to do something wrong. ”

Jesse smiled and let out a puff of smoke. Now, that he liked. He nodded. He did want to keep an eye on Hanzo and now, that they would be together on a mission, it would be even more easy. He would sort this kind of game that the Shimada was playing.

“Now you’re talkin’. Well then, should anythin’ happen, I’ll deal with it gladly.”

And then he got up, and walked to the door, ready to leave the room when Winston said in a worried voice:

“Be careful. He  _ is  _ dangerous.”

Jesse chuckled “But so am I.”

To love is dangerous.

But to hate is even more.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? I hope you like it! And I'm sorry for the mistakes, I don't have a beta reader!  
> But I hope you like it and I also hope you continue on reading it! Please, do comment or/and leave a kudo!  
> Kisses, until the next one <3


End file.
